Inside Small Business | Small Business & Home Business Marketing

Joke of the Month

Strange But True (And Really Funny) Job Interview Behavior

Most managers and supervisors (and HR people) have had experiences interviewing candidates for job openings. I’m sure each of you has, at one time or another, been baffled by interviewee behavior, but we’re betting you haven’t faced some of the behaviors that we list below. Certainly head-scratchers, and amusing (at least to read about). Strange but true.

Based on a survey published via the Internet, here are some of the odd things reported by HR professionals.

1. “… said he was so well-qualified that if he didn’t get the job, it would prove that the company’s management was incompetent.”

2. “… stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.”

3. “… brought her large dog to the interview.”

4. “… chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.”

5. “Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.”

6. “She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.”

7. “Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.”

8. “Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.”

9. “… asked to see interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.”

10. “… announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer’s office.”

11. “Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.”

12. “Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.”

13. “Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.”

14. “Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.”

15. “… wouldn’t get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.”

16. “When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.”

17. “… had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.”

18. “… bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.”

19. “At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left.”

20. “… pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.”

21. “Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer I had made was formal.”

22. “Said he wasn’t interested because the position paid too much.”

23. “While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.”

24. “During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate’s brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.”

25. “A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: “Which company? When do I start? What’s the salary?” I said, “I assume you’re not interested in conducting the interview any further.” He promptly responded, “I am as long as you’ll pay me more.” “I didn’t hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.”

26. “An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.”

27. “His attaché [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies’ undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.”

28. “He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn’t want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped.”

29. “He took off his right shoe and sock, removed a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.”

30. “Candidate said he really didn’t want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.”

31. “He whistled when the interviewer was talking.”

32. “… asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.”

33. “… she threw-up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.”

34. “Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.”

35. “… asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.”

9 Tricks to Receiving World Class Customer Service

By, David Grenda, founder,
Grenda Computer Consulting

There are few things more infuriating than having to call a technical support number. I should know. In the last 20 years of my IT consulting practice, I’ve spent probably 10 of them on hold. I have phone pad carpel tunnel, and can now decipher 16 foreign dialects hiding behind poor use of the English language. It’s like having to go to the DMV or jury duty. You know your turn is coming, just not when.

I’m going to give you some tips and tricks to help you get better service from your next call to technical support. You might even get your problem solved. These are the trade secrets of how we pros get right to the point when we are trying to resolve an issue on the clock for a client.

First you must understand how technical support works. It’s all about call turnover times and flip charts. Most support reps get rewarded by the number of calls they handle. Notice I didn’t say “problems they solve”. The goal is to get you off the phone as quickly as possible. They use flip charts in front of them to diagnose your problem and suggest a solution. If the solution is too far above simple, you become a problem for them and they move you in a direction to end the call. This usually involves assigning you a complex task you need to complete and then call back with the results. Sound ridiculous? It’s not. These call centers are now all over the world, staffed by hundreds of people and they know you will not get the same tech again. That’s why when the fellow at the call center in India answers the phone he says, “Hello, my name is Arnold”.  You get the idea. Now here are some tricks you can try. Not all of these work in all situations, but after a while you’ll learn how to apply them and when.

When you are wending your way through the automated menus, press the “0” key often. The robot will either ignore you or tell you that’s an invalid option. Often however, you will hit the key at the right time and get routed to a person.

If you are given the chance to answer a robot with words, never give an intelligible answer. Simply keep answering “blah blah blah”. The robot will eventually apologize for not being able to understand you and route you to a person.

If the support number is 24 hours, plan your call during off hours. Calling Monday morning at 8AM isn’t a good idea. Call at 4AM or 11PM, the lost sleep is better than the high blood pressure.

Finally getting a person on the phone requires special handling. Start off by saying something like this: “Hi, I want you to know that none of my frustration is intended for you…I’m sure you are a nice person, but I’ve been disconnected 3 times and I desperately need your help. Thank you so much in advance”. Yes, lie. You need their sympathy. Don’t waste your time getting angry, don’t act like you are an important customer, and don’t use profanity. They don’t care about any of that and will find a way to dump your call.

If you sense they are foreign, ask where they are in the world and mention your cousin Frank was there on business and said it was a beautiful country.  They have the power to move mountains for you and they’d rather do it for someone they think is a kindred spirit. You need to flatter them and generate sympathy for your cause. Make them your hero for helping you. Through the call throw in several statements like, “Thank you again, I am so happy you are the one helping me with this”.

Always give the support rep a call back number in case you get disconnected. They won’t always call you back but sometimes they will. Say you are on a cellular phone and ask them not to leave you on hold for very long. If you were nice up front, they may consider that.

Ask for a “ticket number” if they don’t offer you one. This is a reference number in their system about your problem. It may save you from having to re-explain your issue to 7 more people when you call back. The rep also records in the ticket notes if you are a pain, so remember to be polite.

If you are asked to do something you already know the answer to, say you tried it before calling. Always remain polite, but don’t be afraid to be assertive when you sense they are rolling you off a call without your problem being solved.

And finally, ask for a direct phone number to any special support units that might be able to help you. A support rep will often trade this for getting you off their call list.

Apply these tips and eventually you’ll be a pro at getting technical support. Don’t worry you’ll have plenty of chances to practice. You could always call me if you need computer help, but don’t try any tricky stuff…..

* David Grenda is the founder of Grenda Computer Consulting LLC. His firm provides a full range of IT support services and telecom support services to business of all sizes, including the Fortune 500. Among his 24 years of professional accomplishments, he has been featured in BusinessWeek magazine and received numerous professional recognitions. GCC’s guiding principle is that technology is a tool in a solution, not the solution itself. “We measure our success in years of client relationships”.

Ask The Panel

Robert H. from Mesa, Arizona asks:

• I am about to launch my business, of the three types of marketing techniques, what are their benefits and what method of marketing is the most effective for a start-up company?

  -Direct Mail Marketing?

  -Email Marketing?

  -Online Marketing?
  

Nicole:

Congratulations on your new business! Marketing is key to the success of your business and it’s great to be thinking about it ahead of time. The effectiveness of different marketing channels really depends on what type of business you’re starting. For a local business direct mail can be a good way to get the word out, especially if you are having a grand opening or offering a promotion. If you are a retail store with a large selection of product direct mailing a catalog can help expose customers to the variety and pricing of your products. Email marketing is great for retention and repeat purchases, but it isn’t the easiest way to acquire new customers. Online marketing I highly recommend because that is how many people find businesses and services these days. It’s especially relevant if you have an ecommerce business (one that allows online purchasing). Definitely set up a Google business listing (it’s free) which will allow you to get a Google Place Page (also free). If you have an ecommerce business you might want to consider a small, targeted (keywords that are very relevant to your product/service) paid search campaign. Even if you don’t have an online business, a geotargeted (your ads only appear to searchers who live in an area you specify, like a city, zip code or state) paid search campaign can be a great way to ensure your business appears to locals who are searching for it. Best of luck with your new business!

Amy:

-Direct Mail Marketing: Direct mail marketing may be the quickest and easiest form of advertising for a start-up company. Sending direct mail is quick, and can relate to instant results, given you’ve targeted your customer’s demographics properly.

-Email Marketing: Email marketing can be a very cost effective method for reaching out to your customers. But of course, you need customers first. As you sell products and build your database, remember to keep your customers informed by offering quality content, deals, and sales. Otherwise you’ll find your opt-out percentage high.

-Online Marketing: Online marketing may be the most important method for advertising your business. Start building your site’s SEO early, as it takes time for Google to notice your reputation and place you in the search results. As you build your site’s SEO (which can take months to years), you should also take a look at placing ads in a search engine’s paid advertising section. This way you can show up on search results immediately. Also, don’t forget to use Social Media as an advertising outlet. Twitter, Facebook, and social bookmarking sites can offer you free advertising, just be sure to stay away from the used car salesman approach.

Rob:

There is no one marketing program or method that is best for everyone, or for all start-ups. The best way to communicate with your customers is the way that is most relevant to them. For some, this will be direct mail, others will do better with email campaigns, while still others are better served by online marketing. Which one is right for you? It depends on where your customers are and what they are doing when you try to reach them.

The most important part of the marketing campaign isn’t the tactic (direct mail, email, or online, among others), it’s measuring your success or failure. Carefully measure how much you spend in each activity and what each effort delivers back in sales. Spend more on the tactics that work and stop or change the tactics that don’t. It will take time, but as you measure, test and make adjustments, your marketing will get more effective and your customers will respond.

Direct Mail is typically more expensive so it will need to deliver a better response (i.e. sales) than an email campaign. But direct mail is also more immediate and when the creative is done properly, it can stand out from the mass of communication better than almost any other kind of marketing. Catalogs, for example, have staying power that email will never match. Email campaigns can be inexpensive, but are easy to dismiss. Also, be careful not to violate your customers’ trust. If they haven’t given you permission to market to them by email, you may offend and lose more customers than you make. Online campaigns can be both expensive and difficult to break through, but when done right, can be remarkably effective.

It all comes down to communicating a relevant message to your customers in a way that attracts their interest. If you get that right, the method matters a lot less.